Cop Mama

Swim Babies

2010-03-10T06:23:00.001-06:00

We just returned from a long weekend away. Here’s a few pics from the indoor pool. I love the top one. Sprout is being a great big brother, making sure his baby brother doesn’t slip on the wet tile. The second one, Cubbie is tuckered out and ready for Daddy to bring him back to the room.

Link up at:

and

“Mama Guilt Mondays” Meme

2010-03-08T06:30:00.001-06:00

Why talk about "Mama Guilt," you ask? Because I think it is good to share our Mama Guilt so we know we are not alone. We all struggle in this wonderful, chaotic, ever challenging thing called motherhood! See the MckLinky at the bottom of this post to link up.

Here’s my Mama Guilt from the past week:

1. Sprout had pajama day at Preschool and once again, he was the only one NOT in pajamas! I don’t know how we keep forgetting!

2. It’s been warm and sunny this past week. However, when I get home from work, it’s so hard to get outside with my kiddos since I still have to make dinner!

3. Cubbie is still teething and has an especially swollen left gum. My poor baby, I just feel so guilty that I can’t do anything to help him but give him teething medicine.

Do YOU have any Mama Guilt on your mind today? Blog about it, funny or serious, post a link back to me, then come back here and enter your post link into the MckLinky. Don't forget to leave me a comment too!

Or feel free to write about your Mama Guilt in the comments below.

Who Am I?

2010-03-06T08:10:00.003-06:00

(I’m reposting this in case you missed it!)

Thanks for reading my blog. Here’s a little bit about me...

I'm 36 years old. I've been married to my DH for six years. We have two boys we love dearly; "Sprout" who is three and a half, and "Cubbie" who is 21 months. Both boys are highly energetic, active, crazy, funny little guys. We live in the Midwest in a fairly decent sized metropolitan area.

Both my DH and I love the outdoors. Before boys (BB), we kayaked the Apostle Islands, hiked the mountains of Colorado, laid on the beaches of Mexico (honeymoon), mountain biked, skied, and camped. Now, AB (after boys), well, we pretty much stay home. It's just too much work right now to go anywhere, other than short trips in our camper that I blogged about here. I get in a run or an elliptical workout 3 to 4 times a week. My DH is a road and mountain biker (pedal bike).

I am a police officer in a fairly large city. I'm currently a Sergeant assigned to investigations. I've been with the same police department for fifteen years. I started when I was 21 years old. At the time, I was the youngest officer on the department and one of the small percentage of female officers. I am intentionally vague about my job because, well, it is the Internet :-)

My DH is a Dr. in the natural health field. He has graciously condensed his hours at his clinic so he can be a part-time stay at home dad. We both attempt to eat healthy, organic meals when we can. We believe in the body's natural ability to heal itself (to a point). We don't vaccinate or immunize our boys. We also do not believe in circumcision. I nursed both boys until they each voluntarily weaned themselves. That being said, I would never force my views on anyone else. Each to his own.

I'm a Christian, I believe in Jesus and the Bible. I try to be the best example of God's love that I can be, but oh do I fall short! I'm a positive person for the most part. I care about others and try to be uplifting, encouraging, and a good listener. I have a heart for the hurting. If I could do it all over again, I would probably be a counselor to troubled adolescents. I just have a heart for teenagers. But for now, any extra time I have is spent loving up my boys and being a wife to my DH.

So, that's me! Thanks for listening to the mini version of my life!

If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

2010-03-05T06:15:00.000-06:00

It’s time for Friday Fragments, Blogging edition:

1. My laptop died one week after the one year warranty was up! But I’ve complained, whined, and tweeted enough about it. So, I’m going to turn the other cheek and forget about the $265 said computer company (cough, cough, HP) cost me and just be happy I finally have it back.

2. Therefore, I’ve been missing out on all your wonderful blogs, my friends. After a long weekend of family fun with our munchkins, I’ll be back around next week!

3. I’m in the process of getting a new blog design. I’m going for more of a clean, contemporary look. Hopefully, it will be up next week, so check back!

And yes, I’m double dippin’ today! Because now it’s time for…

1. What's your guilty pleasure?

2. What is your favorite TV series?

3. Can you speak any foreign languages?

Espanol, un poco and a little bit of Hmong

4. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I’m not a big shoe person. I have three or four pairs of dress shoes/boots for work, and a few for casual. And, of course, my running shoes (Saucony all the way, baby!)

5. What's your favorite kind of M&M's...peanut, almond, straight up regular, etc.?

Happy Friday Everyone!

So what are YOUR plans for the weekend???

Six Word Memoir

2010-03-04T12:18:00.003-06:00

Terresa at The Chocolate Chip Waffle is hosting a contest. The prize:

Chocolate!!!

The rules: If you had to condense your life into six words, what would you write?

Poet I am not, but for chocolate, why not! Here's mine:

"Arrived home through marriage and motherhood."

So, what's YOUR six word memoir???

I Remember When…

2010-03-03T06:15:00.000-06:00

Oh, I couldn't resist!

This is Sprout when he was only three months old.

And now he's three and a half years old!

Here’s the color version:

My first baby boy!

Where did the time go???

Link up at:

and at

“Mama Guilt Mondays” Meme

2010-03-01T06:15:00.000-06:00

(Link up at the bottom of this post)

The meltdown was inevitable.

Thursday morning. Sprout was up before I left for work, which is fairly usual. But, instead of just giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying, “Luv you, Mama”, he had an all-out fit. He attached himself to my leg and pleaded, “No Mama, no Mama, don’t go!” I knelt down, wrapped him in my arms, kissed his little blond head, and told him I would be home later. Then, DH had to pry Sprout away. I turned to leave down the steps, fighting back my tears as I heard his cries.

Mama Guilt BIG time. I went to work and told the Chief I was retiring.

No, not really, but that’s how I felt. And this is my struggle, my ultimate Mama Guilt. The pull between career and family. I love my career, I’ve been doing it way before kids or even my DH were in the picture. But now, it’s a different story. I have two tiny little beings that need their Mama. So I do my best. My family now comes first. But I’ve made a choice to continue with my career, and it comes at a price.

And this is why I hold this little grass roots “Mama Guilt Mondays” Meme. So us moms have a place to come and share our challenges so we know we are not alone!

Do YOU have any Mama Guilt on your mind today? Blog about it, funny or serious, post a link back here on your blog, then come back here and enter your post link into the MckLinky.

Or feel free to tell us about YOUR Mama Guilt in the comments below.

What is YOUR Legacy?

2010-02-27T08:53:00.001-06:00

Mindlessly driving to work yesterday, the song “Legacy” by Nichole Nordeman came on. Suddenly, the weight of these lyrics were on my heart:

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

It made me think, What is MY legacy?

Do I chose to love? Am I leaving a mark? Do I point to God enough?

I don’t know that I always do, but I try. I’m not perfect and still a sinner saved by grace. Everyday, in small and big ways, I try to touch others and let Jesus’ love shine through me.

So how about YOU? What is YOUR legacy? Take a moment RIGHT NOW, just ten seconds, close your eyes, and what is on your heart? What is YOUR legacy?

I’ve included the video in case you haven’t heard/seen this song. It’s absolutely beautiful!

My Uncle (Part Two)

2010-02-26T06:38:00.003-06:00

(I received so many good comments/questions on part one, I felt I needed to do a part two. To read part one, go here.)

He was Santa Claus. That is my fondest and clearest memory of my uncle. Remember, I was six at the time.

After his death, his wife Joan continued to bring their two boys, Matt and Scotty, around on the holidays. When I was seven, my mom married my step dad and moved to the country. Joan brought the boys up several times to hang out with my brothers.

One winter, my crazy, country brothers gave those city boys a ride on our snowmobiles. First to take off was my half brother Conrad. He gunned it so hard that Matt went flying off the back. Then, my step brother Todd took off with Scotty holding on for dear life. By the time they got back to our trailer house, both cousins looked like they were in shock. Knowing my brothers, they gave those city boys a ride they wouldn’t soon forget.

As my cousins got older, they started to question what happened to their dad. One time in particular, Matt, the older one, asked my grandma about his dad. My grandma, being the wise matriarch she is, told him he needed to talk to his mom. Soon after that, we stopped seeing the boys altogether.

I heard rumors both boys eventually dropped out of school, were in and out of jail, and in general were struggling through life. I knew they lived in the Big City. I got word that Scotty actually lived not only in my district, but in my assigned area back when I worked patrol. One evening, we had a shots fired call in the area. We knocked on a few doors, his included. He never answered, although I hoped he had. I kept seeing the same truck parked outside, but never anyone around. To this day, no one in my mom’s family has heard from either boy, now men. And we are pretty certain they were never told the truth about their dad’s death.

*Author's note: This is a true story. Only the names have been changed.

Share YOUR family stories at:

Friday Follow

2010-02-25T22:28:00.001-06:00

Isn’t it fun meeting new bloggers! Thanks for stopping by.

Leave me a comment so I can link back and follow you too!

Join in over at One 2 Try, Hearts Make Families and Midday Escapades! Just click on the button below:

I Risked My Life Yesterday

2010-02-25T11:22:00.003-06:00

This is what I did yesterday

With a crazy bunch of fun middle schoolers

In uniform

With my gun on

'Nuff said...

And NO, you can't see pictures of it!!!

A Moment

2010-02-24T06:29:00.002-06:00

"Contemplating Life"

Or not...

Link up at Seven Clown Circus or

“Mama Guilt Mondays” Meme

2010-02-22T06:25:00.001-06:00

Why talk about Mama Guilt, you ask? Because I think it’s good to share so we know we’re not alone. We all struggle in this wonderful, chaotic, ever challenging thing called motherhood! See the MckLinky at the bottom of this post to link up.

* * * * * * *

I NEVER go out. EVER! I guess after spending 40 hours a week away from my little guys, it's hard to spend even a second away from them outside of work. But this past Saturday, I met up with some friends for dinner.

Problem was, Sprout wasn't having any of it. "Mama, I wanna come," or "I'll be good," and the hardest, "But Daddy doesn't sing the Goodnight Song like you do!" UGH, talk about Mama Guilt!

So, I asked him if he wanted to pretend to get ready with me…

Every boy needs at least five hair clips, right?

And no, honey, that’s not a scissors.

Oh, you already have a natural glow, my sweetheart!

Good job, I think you’re getting the hang of this!

Wait, NO! Not in your nose!

So the question is, should my Mama Guilt be:

1. I went out Saturday night.

2. I allowed my SON to wear hairclips and pretend to apply makeup.

3. I actually posted pictures of it!

Do YOU have any Mama Guilt on your mind today? Blog about it, funny or serious, post a link back here on your blog, then come back here and enter your post link into the MckLinky.

Or feel free to write about YOUR Mama Guilt in the Comments below.

What’s In YOUR Cabinet???

2010-02-20T08:56:00.001-06:00

Cubbie, what exactly…

are you…

looking for???

(Don’t forget to stop back for Mama Guilt Mondays meme. Share your stories of motherhood by linking up.)

Friday Follow

2010-02-19T10:46:00.002-06:00

** Regular visitors, please scroll down to the next post. It's a piece of memoir that I didn't want getting confused with the Friday Follow because of the nature of it. **

I love meeting new bloggers! Thanks for stopping by. Leave me a comment so I can link back and follow you too!

Join in over at One 2 Try, Hearts Make Families and Midday Escapades! Just click on the button below:

My Uncle

2010-02-19T06:32:00.005-06:00

He was murdered when I was six.

I remember the news coverage. I was sitting on my Grandma and Grandpa's shaggy living room carpet. The TV screen showed the gurney with my uncle's body being brought down the steps of the duplex.

The family rumor was that his wife was cheating on him. When he returned home one day, he caught her in bed with another man. My uncle threatened her lover with a knife. Her lover pulled out a gun and shot him.

That's about all I ever knew of the story until last year. On a whim, I happened to ask the Homicide Commander if I could see the file, since it's a closed case and public record. See, it happened in the Big City, the city I work for.

He said sure, he would let Sgt. Davis, the cold case investigator, know since she's the one with access to all the archives. Sgt. Davis, or Liz, also happens to be my friend. She had no idea I had an uncle murdered in the city. No one on the department did. It's not something I really like to advertise.

I asked Liz to remove the crime scene photos, I just didn't need to see that. I sat down in one of the interrogation rooms with the overstuffed, disintegrating file folder. As I dug through the mounds of sketches, handwritten incident reports, and property sheets, I was able to piece together what really happened that night.

Contrary to my family's version of the story, my uncle actually went over to the lover's house. They apparently were friends. They had a few beers. Then, my uncle confronted the lover about the affair. There was a scuffle. The neighbor said he heard my uncle pleading, "Don't shoot me, don't shoot me", then shots rang out. By the time the police arrived, my uncle was dead.

The lover claimed, when interviewed, my uncle came at him with a knife, so he shot him in self defense. The jury didn't buy it. The lover went to prison, guilty of manslaughter.

And it turns out, my aunt was never even there.

Author's Note: This is a true story, only the names have been changed. My uncle was my mom's brother and his wife eventually distanced herself from the family, taking their two children with her.

Link up at "Family Fridays" over at The Peterson Family or Keeping Up With the Schultz Family.

Back to Reality

2010-02-17T06:12:00.005-06:00

Sorry my friends, just a little bit longer…

and soon enough…

we'll be sitting in those plastic Adirondack chairs again!

Link up at The Long Road to China and Seven Clown Circus

Mama Guilt Mondays

2010-02-15T06:28:00.005-06:00

Yesterday, we skipped church (I know, I know, yes, I feel guilty)

but LOOK at what we did instead!

We visited our local indoor flower gardens and
it was WARM inside.

Wonderfully, tropically warm!

Enjoy, my friend!

Soak up these beautiful reds, blues, pinks and greens.

I hope you liked this little break from winter reality.
I know we did!

Do YOU have any Mama Guilt on your mind today?
Feel free to link up or share in the comments!

What a Man!

2010-02-13T08:10:00.005-06:00

My DH is...

an avid telemark skier

an intense road biker

a loving husband

(this is my favorite picture because

I was 3 months pregnant with Sprout at the time)

a caring father

and a great daddy!

Thank you, sweetheart, for all you do!

Happy Valentines Day!

(Go check out other great pics at Mama M's!)

I Just Knew It!

2010-02-12T12:49:00.007-06:00

When I saw this gazebo, I just knew it! What, you ask?

Well first, it's time for...

Mama M's Five Question Friday!

1. What is the one thing your love does for you that you can't live without?

Wipes the boogers from my kiddos noses!!! Seriously, give me blood, vomit, whatever, but I HATE boogers! ;-)

2. When did you know your love was "the one"?

The moment I met him! As soon as he walked in the door at our first day of singles small group at church, I just felt it! (Ask him, so did he!)

3. Does your love have a special ringtone on your cell?

Ok, don't laugh...promise??? "I Love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett.

4. What are you attracted to most in your special someone?

His morals and values. He's a good guy, a Christian, and a great daddy!

5. Did you know when/where he/she was going to pop the big question?

Someday, I'll tell the whole story! Nutshell: he rented a cabin on a BIG lake. When we pulled up, I saw the above mentioned Gazebo off the back of the cabin, and I just knew! Sure enough, later that day, with the sun setting and the waves crashing, he asked me to be his wife!

T.G.I.F. my friends! What are YOU doing this weekend??? Valentine's plans? Us, we are staying in and having a nice, late dinner after kiddos go to bed!

Tell Us About That Scar

2010-02-11T07:10:00.006-06:00

Photo Credit

There's not a cop on the job that, after five years on, doesn't have a scar or two. It's just part of what we do.

I had about two years on when I was sent to a burglary in progress call. O'Neal* answered up as back-up. While enroute, we were updated that the neighbors were now chasing the burglar through the alley. O'Neal beat me to the alley and I was on his heels. We both slammed our squads into park and bolted towards the screaming in the back of one of the yards. O'Neal flew over the fence like a wild gazelle. As I attempted to do the same, he yelled back,

"Be careful, it's double fenced!"

Thanks a lot, I was in midair at the time. I cleared the first fence but came down not onto ground, but a lower lying fence made of chicken wire or barbwire. I felt my leg stick. Subconsciously, I knew it wasn't a good thing, but adrenaline and chaos were reining in my mind at that moment. I unstuck my leg from the fence and continued over it. I ran up to where the neighbors had the burglar pinned down. O'Neal and I cuffed and searched him all while holding off the angry mob of bystanders. We walked the burglar around to O'Neal's squad and got him secured in the back seat. I told O'Neal I would meet him down at HQ after I got my info for the burglary.

Back at HQ, the adrenaline started to wear off and the pain in my leg started to seep in. Once in the report writing room, I found an open computer and grabbed one of the thread bare chairs. I knew it wasn't a good sign when I noticed the bottom of my polyester uniform pants were sticking to my leg. The next sight I saw was a totally red sock that used to be white sticking out of the top of my Rocky boot. And further up my leg, two jagged,bloody puncture wounds.

O'Neal's response, "I told you it was double fenced!"

Thanks alot, buddy! Considering I just had a tetanus shot a month earlier, I just dug out a first aid kit from the squad trunk, wrapped my leg up tight, and hoped I wouldn't be chasing anyone else for the rest of my shift.

Thirteen years later, the scars are barely visible. Do I miss those days? You bet! I enjoy being an investigator now, but I tell ya, those early years in my career were the best!

*Not his real name.

* * * * * * *

Thanks to Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin' It for her Writer's Workshop. This true story is based on her #3 prompt: "Tell us about that scar."

Black and White Wednesday

2010-02-10T06:15:00.004-06:00

Those eyes

My sweet baby boy

Are what everyone sees

So big, so bright, so beautiful

May they ever have wonder

May they always shine

Those eyes

Link up at The Long Road to China

Read Books Online for Free!

2010-02-09T08:43:00.002-06:00

Check this out! It's called "DailyLit." It's a website where you can subscribe to have books sent to your email for FREE!

You can search by "Category"

Or choose that great classic you've always wanted to read:

The best part is you get to choose the frequency of the emails. Here's an excerpt from their website FAQ section:

"Why read books by email?
Because if you are like us, you spend hours each day reading emails but don't find the time to read books. DailyLit brings books right into your inbox in convenient small messages that take less than 5 minutes to read."

I've enjoyed having books delivered for FREE to my email, so I thought you might too!

Head over to Mom Tried It for more "Try and Tell" ideas!

Now it's YOUR turn! What's YOUR favorite book OR the last book you read???

"Mama Guilt Mondays" Meme

2010-02-08T06:28:00.002-06:00

* * * * * * *

Today, I'm doing a reverse Mama Guilt post.

Instead of feeling guilty about something I did as a mom, I feel guilty about BEING a mom! Why? Because...

I said "No."

To my Boss.

My COMMANDER!

Last week, he asked if I (along with my entire unit) could attend a conference in April, away from home.

Overnight.

On my birthday (which is also my DH's birthday.)

And I said, "No."

Well, actually, I said, "Sorry boss, I just can't this time."

Normally, I would have said, "Yes." I've been away from home before for training and conferences. I even had to bring my breast pump with one time. Try explaining why you have to leave the shooting range to go pump!

But this time, I just had to decline. I couldn't do that to my DH on HIS birthday!

I'm not asking for special privileges or missing out on any earth shattering information. This topic is going to be taught again locally in the fall.

But anyone who has ever worked in a similar situation can relate to how hard it was for me to...

Say "No" to my boss!

* * * * * * *

Security

2010-02-06T08:44:00.006-06:00

This morning

In the dark early hours

I was half awakened by a small, precious voice,

"Mama, can I come in your bed?"

Up and over, I set Sprout in between us.

I curled around him protectively like only a mother can.

As I felt his chest rise and fall,

I thought of a time when I longed for the same...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Softly, under the covers

I was careful not to cause a stir.

I pressed against my mom's unconscious body.

The stale, sweet familiar odor came in waves with her every breath.

I took her limp arm and put it around my middle.

And for the moment, she was home.

(Author's note: I debated posting this for fear of being too...what? Personal? Emotional? But my mom's drinking is what has made me a better mom today.)