Why talk about "Mama Guilt," you ask? Because I think it is good to share our Mama Guilt so we know we are not alone. We all struggle in this wonderful, chaotic, ever challenging thing called motherhood! See the MckLinky at the bottom of this post to link up.
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Today, I'm doing a reverse Mama Guilt post.
Instead of feeling guilty about something I did as a mom, I feel guilty about BEING a mom! Why? Because...
I said "No."
To my Boss.
My COMMANDER!
Last week, he asked if I (along with my entire unit) could attend a conference in April, away from home.
Overnight.
On my birthday (which is also my DH's birthday.)
And I said, "No."
Well, actually, I said, "Sorry boss, I just can't this time."
Normally, I would have said, "Yes." I've been away from home before for training and conferences. I even had to bring my breast pump with one time. Try explaining why you have to leave the shooting range to go pump!
But this time, I just had to decline. I couldn't do that to my DH on HIS birthday!
Instead of feeling guilty about something I did as a mom, I feel guilty about BEING a mom! Why? Because...
I said "No."
To my Boss.
My COMMANDER!
Last week, he asked if I (along with my entire unit) could attend a conference in April, away from home.
Overnight.
On my birthday (which is also my DH's birthday.)
And I said, "No."
Well, actually, I said, "Sorry boss, I just can't this time."
Normally, I would have said, "Yes." I've been away from home before for training and conferences. I even had to bring my breast pump with one time. Try explaining why you have to leave the shooting range to go pump!
But this time, I just had to decline. I couldn't do that to my DH on HIS birthday!
I'm not asking for special privileges or missing out on any earth shattering information. This topic is going to be taught again locally in the fall.
But anyone who has ever worked in a similar situation can relate to how hard it was for me to...
Say "No" to my boss!
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Do YOU have any Mama Guilt on your mind today? Blog about it, funny or serious, post a link back to me, then come back here and enter your post link into the MckLinky. Don't forget to leave me a comment too!Or feel free to write about your Mama Guilt in the comments below.
22 comments:
Oh yeah, I have been there. Well, not the shooting range or anything like that. But I have left strategy meetings because my strategy was not to leak breast milk all over my suit ;)
Good for you. As we know, that balance can be so tricky, but sometimes you have to take a stand and stick by your priorities.
Sometimes it's gotta be said...easier than disappointing the family especially when you know you can take it in the Fall.Have a great week.
This is a huge reason why I'm still so torn about going back to work. Even though I miss teaching so much it's almost painful, I know that I'd be constantly torn between wanting to do everything I can to be the best teacher I can be while at the same time not sacrificing being a great mama and wife. It's a tough balance to even thing about holding--let alone actually doing it! I'm not sure that I want to trade the hurt of missing my classroom and students for all the stress & tough choices that come with being a working mom. I admire all of those women who pull it off with their grace securely intact--you're definitely one of them!
I dont so much feel guity as get the guilt trip from my boss when i cant say attend UNPAID extra training (i already have a degree) but all that is changing because her boss is returning to tak back the position from...maternity leave! :D i am hoping she will be a little more understanding of my situation
Yeah I think I would have been terrified too.. maybe why I didn't work that long and stay at home :)
Your commanding officer is probably alot easier to disappoint in the long run than your DH. Good choice! (Even though, it must have been an uncomfortable thing to do!) What a good wife you are!
Have a great, guilt-free week!
Lets see...so much to choose from... oh! My baby girl feel asleep in her bouncy jumping thingy today and I just left her there. I like to say to myself (to make myself feel better) "You cant make a happy baby happier!"
Oh well.
Blessings!
Amanda
I know that HAD to be really hard, but it would have been way worse, the guilt of being away on yours's (is that a word?) birthdays.
Sometimes you have to say no.
Good for you:)
Good for you!!!!
I say good for you! How crazy that your birthdays are on the same day!!
Way to go! For real...good job on standing up for what YOU want and what is best for YOU!
Good for you. Especially if you are going to learn it in the fall.
Hey good for you! Don't feel guilty- you got to do what you got to do!!
So you share your bday with DH?
Way to go. Put yourself first, it's okay to say NO.
Oh ya, that's something that I really would hate to do is to have to say no to my employer for something...yet, I don't want to lose touch with my family either.
I'm sure the commander understands. I would.
You go girl:) That is one of the hardest things about being a working mom-I always felt like I was letting someone down-my kids or my boss. It sounds like you had very good reason and you should be proud of yourself for doing what you think was right for all.
I spotlighted you and a few other blogs with an award on my site:) Check it out when you have some time....
Shea
Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!
I hate saying "no" even when it's for the best. Especially when my daughter is crying and begging me for another piece of gum, and I say "No! You've already had two pieces today!" I feel like such a meany!
This is such a great meme! :)
Isn't that crazy how we have to feel bad about being a mom or a wife and our duties to the most important people in our life? Most of the time "the bosses" understand. But sometimes I think women are made to choose between business and family.
Good for you. It's hard to say no sometimes. I have a hard time saying no to many things but family always comes first!
Good for you!! It's hard when being a mommy a wife and an employee sometimes...there's bound to be times when the collide, like when you have sick kids! I still think it's crazy you guys have the same birthday, very cool!
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